Sunday, March 2, 2014

Missed Connection Subway Lovers

Dearest Missed Connection subway lovers,

Does anyone actually find who they're looking for on missed connections? This is a serious question. Becasue as you may already know most of the missed connections on Craigslist are from the subway... And none of these people made a move. A vast majority of missed connections are just a look that someone thought they shared with someone else. And then through an act of desperation they got on Craigslist (One of the sketchiest sites, mind you. [Anyone heard of the Craigslist killer? Anyone?!?!?]) and post a Missed Connections add hoping that the person shared the same look and thought, " Hey, I want some of that. I hope they post a description of me on Craigslist Missed Connections."
First off, that is some arrogant fucking thinking. And here's why:

1. You have to think that your shit don't stink, enough to believe that some stranger on the train saw you see them and was like, "Yes, lawd Jesus. I have found my one true soul mate on public transportation. And Imma just stare at them until they make the first move."

2. You believe that this person is at home waiting for you to post a description of what they believe that they look like through a strangers eyes.

Or 3. You're waiting by your computer, believing that someone caught a glimpse of you looking at them and decided to post a description of you (Or what you believe you look like in the eyes of a stranger).

Now I'm not knocking fate and love at first site believers... because deep down in my Disney loving heart I believe the same thing... However Missed Connections is the laziest, most non-committal way of meeting your supposed soul mate in the history of the world. Grow some cajones and talk to the person... even if you say some corny nonsense like, "Hey there pretty (insert gender here [i.e. lady, guy/manchild]), I was standing over there and I couldn't help but notice you notice me and I just wanted you to know that I noticed you too. Perhaps we can get together and I can buy you a (insert beverage/ food/ munchy yum yums here)." They may laugh or tell you to fuck off but at least you tried and no longer have to wonder about the passing glimpse you received from the attractive stranger on the train.

A fellow subway rider
(My boss found a missed connection post and thought that the person described me... ((awkbox))

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