Tuesday, March 11, 2014

R.Kelly Impersonator

Dearest R.Kelly impersonator, 

I had no idea when I stepped on the train this morning that I was stepping into your personal music video... My apologies. That being said, um what the ever loving fuck?!?! First i must say, I am so glad that you believed that you could sing well enough to decide to serenade the train with your "melodious" chops. you must have very encouraging parents, that they told you to go out and chase your dream on the finest means of public transportation. (I.e the express 2 train) but my friend lets be honest your voice isn't all that. And I didn't see you at the last American idol auditions. So what is this? Do you reeeally need the money, because that is a mighty nice iPhone 5 you're sporting, and we all know those waves in your hair ain't cheap. Are you trying to pick up chicks on the side? Because I can tell you right now that chick filming you is sure not gonna be your next prospect, I would bet money that this video will be on vine, Instagram, and/ or world star hiphop. Oh and please don't ask me for money I make it a personal rule not to give money to people who have more expensive shoes then me. 

A Fellow Subway Rider

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